Daddy God

Tonight's post will be very short because I'm tired and need to head to bed. But I heard somewhere that just showing up is half the battle so here I am.

Disappointment. I'm feeling disappointed tonight. 

Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way that you think it will. And honestly, that's been happening a lot lately. And on the flip side, a lot of things have been going really, really well. So life has felt like a massive roller coaster ride recently. 

And it's honestly taking everything in me not to just slam this computer closed and go to bed. But I feel like if I do that, I won't get back on here for another week. And I want to push through all the junk to hopefully get to the gold somewhere deep down inside me...

So thanks for bearing with me as I word vomit all over this page. (Did I just say word vomit...? gross...)

Anyways, life has been disappointing and challenging on one hand recently, and on the other hand it has been extraordinary. 

I'll share some of the good side of things...

I am in the process of preparing to record my first album ever. That's a huge, huge deal in and of itself. It has taken me one whole year, almost to the day, from when I first decided to "actually buckle down and do this whole music thing" until now - when I am "actually buckling down and doing this whole music thing". 

Because the past year has been God breaking me down to the point that I realized that He was all I needed. And that my worth doesn't come from what I do. My worth comes from Him. 

And He kept things from falling in place for me until I finally surrendered myself to Him and realized that I can't "actually buckle down and do this whole music thing"... Nope. I can't do any of it without Him. 

He is the inspiration. He is the motivation. He is the power inside me that comes out when I sing. He is everything and I am just along for the ride. 

And so it's taken me one year to finally realize that to a deep enough extent that He can bless me with success without it killing me. Without it making me think that I earned it on my own.

Which is funny because the whole album is about dependence on God. It's about having a childlike spirit and coming to God as Daddy - the best Daddy in all the universe who has no limits and withholds no good thing from His children. 

And that's the kind of Daddy I need right now. 

In the middle of life's biggest disappointments and challenges, I need Daddy to pick me up in His big, strong arms and say, "There there, Daddy's here. Daddy's got you." 

And as I walk into this unknown new season, one that involves a whole lot of courage and trust in God, it's good to have the songs I'm singing remind me of the story that God was telling in my life 2 and a half years ago when I first wrote some of the songs, and also now as I'm following Him in faith to get them recorded for the world to hear. 

It's good to know that even when I fail and mess up or when life just doesn't go as planned, He is still there holding me safely in His arms. And I can still just be that little baby girl in Him kind, loving arms. 

I don't have to have all my ducks in a row. I don't have to have all the details figured out. 

He still loves me and takes good care of me just because His love is just that big. 

And no amount of difficulty or disappointment could ever separate me from the hope in my God and in His goodness to me. 

I'm safe for all eternity in His everlasting arms.