Honesty

In case you're just joining me on this journey, I am working to write 24 minutes of the most honest words I can every day of my 24th year of life. I have not and will not do this perfectly. But my goal is to continue anyway, no matter how many times I fail. That is all and that is success. Thank you for hearing my story. I would love to hear yours.

My heart is locked up like a cage, 

Holding all of my secrets backstage,
But I promise you now,
Though I'm not quite sure how,
I will pick at the lock with this page.

I grew up learning how to pretend,
Everything was just fine till the end,
But I finally found,
There's just no way around,
Unveiling all my scars to a friend.

And I'm trying to now as I write, 

To stay here and not run out in fright, 

Cause the show must go on, 

And we all live withdrawn, 

But I'm holding my flaws to the light. 

At least that's what I will tell myself, 

When I'm sure there's still more on my shelf, 

You see I'm not so good, 

At being as I should, 

And most days I'm theater itself. 

I confess I am new at this thing, 

Speaking truth in the words that I sing, 

But I'm trying like hell, 

To ring loudly this bell, 

"I'm a mess at my best, ding-a-ling!"

Please forgive me when I play the part, 

And suppress the pain deep in my heart, 

Cause I'm trying to walk, 

Though I'm scared that you'll gawk, 

When I fall down right after the start. 

I'm digging the dirt of my lies, 

To find all the of truth I've disguised, 

And the going is hard, 

And the doors are all barred, 

Still I'll fight till I've obtained the prize.