The Lie of Perfection
Perfectionism is the death of life and freedom and creativity.
When I'm trying to be perfect, I'm too proud to stoop down to the level of a child and begin something new from the very beginning. Because I'm afraid to look foolish, I do not try at all.
I immediately disqualify myself before I've even begun.
This applies to relationships and to art and to work and to play and to our beliefs and to the way we see ourselves. When we're not willing to look like a fool and ask the stupid questions and admit that we have no idea what's going on, we cannot grow.
Growth can only happen from a place of humility and trust. Humility in knowing that we haven't yet arrived and trust that God will get us there when we need to be there. When we can put down our masks - the ones we wear for ourselves and the ones we wear for others - and face up to the fact that we're still pretty messed up and broken... that's when we will find our healing.
I need to know this - really know this.
I know how to pretend I'm perfect. I've done it my whole life. But it's stifled me and made me afraid to move or breathe or mess something up - let alone to run wild and free to Jesus.
What if I fall?
What if they see me fall?
What if I look like a girl who doesn't know the first thing about life and love and beauty?
What if I'm still only a child...
These are the questions that swirl and spin around in my head and my heart. These are the words that keep me from sitting down and playing a song. These are the words that keep me from reaching out to a friend. These are the lies that try to bind and gag me and keep my love bottled up inside.
Perfectionism is trying to be god to myself and to everyone around me. It is trying to make myself on the same level as the Perfect One.
But the truth is - I'm not the Perfect One. I am a complete and utter disaster in the middle of the messiest regeneration process the world has ever seen. And yet, I am loved perfectly by the Perfect One... which makes no sense at all. But it's believing these two simple truths that frees me to be beautifully imperfect and wondrously flawed:
1) I am absolutely not perfect. 2) But I am perfectly loved regardless of it all...
This is the gospel.
This is freedom and a deep breath and and exhaling and true peace...
This is home - welcome to the family, where you can be yourself.
Where I can be myself.
No apologies. No regrets. No fear.
No pretending.
Freedom's Calling
(So good... starting at 4:20)
Also, thanks Auntie Jen for inspiring this. You show me that it's ok to still be a little girl. :)
When I'm trying to be perfect, I'm too proud to stoop down to the level of a child and begin something new from the very beginning. Because I'm afraid to look foolish, I do not try at all.
I immediately disqualify myself before I've even begun.
This applies to relationships and to art and to work and to play and to our beliefs and to the way we see ourselves. When we're not willing to look like a fool and ask the stupid questions and admit that we have no idea what's going on, we cannot grow.
Growth can only happen from a place of humility and trust. Humility in knowing that we haven't yet arrived and trust that God will get us there when we need to be there. When we can put down our masks - the ones we wear for ourselves and the ones we wear for others - and face up to the fact that we're still pretty messed up and broken... that's when we will find our healing.
I need to know this - really know this.
I know how to pretend I'm perfect. I've done it my whole life. But it's stifled me and made me afraid to move or breathe or mess something up - let alone to run wild and free to Jesus.
What if I fall?
What if they see me fall?
What if I look like a girl who doesn't know the first thing about life and love and beauty?
What if I'm still only a child...
These are the questions that swirl and spin around in my head and my heart. These are the words that keep me from sitting down and playing a song. These are the words that keep me from reaching out to a friend. These are the lies that try to bind and gag me and keep my love bottled up inside.
Perfectionism is trying to be god to myself and to everyone around me. It is trying to make myself on the same level as the Perfect One.
But the truth is - I'm not the Perfect One. I am a complete and utter disaster in the middle of the messiest regeneration process the world has ever seen. And yet, I am loved perfectly by the Perfect One... which makes no sense at all. But it's believing these two simple truths that frees me to be beautifully imperfect and wondrously flawed:
1) I am absolutely not perfect. 2) But I am perfectly loved regardless of it all...
This is the gospel.
This is freedom and a deep breath and and exhaling and true peace...
This is home - welcome to the family, where you can be yourself.
Where I can be myself.
No apologies. No regrets. No fear.
No pretending.
Freedom's Calling
(So good... starting at 4:20)
Also, thanks Auntie Jen for inspiring this. You show me that it's ok to still be a little girl. :)
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