The "Yes" of My Heart
I've been so over loaded with life that I haven't had time to blog. Or to spend with Lord for that matter.
It's funny that I think that I can say "Yes" to the Lord and still somehow manage to say "Yes" to everything else at the same time. But I'm remembering again that there's only enough room for one "Yes" in my life, and I must choose it wisely.
Oh, I can go around acting like my heart's "Yes" is all to the Lord and to His plans and all that, but really deep down I've gone and given my "Yes" to something else. Something that is far less worthy. And it's absolutely ludicrous of me to think that something like School or Work or even Family is worthy enough to take my "Yes" from God's hands and put it in theirs. And yet, I've gone and done it anyway.
I'm not mad at myself though. This life is a day by day struggle to keep the "Yes" of your heart placed in God alone, and I'm still learning how to do that. And so I will give grace to myself as I stumble and fall again and again on this journey, knowing that my Father is somehow always still pleased with me, even in my worst failures.
But now that I've finally noticed that my soul is withered and pale and drooping, I must give it time back out under the Sun again. Because what is Life for if not to pour it into knowing the only One worth seeking after? What is Time for if not to spend it lavishly on the One who holds every moment in his hands. And what are all the Desires of my heart given to me for, if not to give them as gifts right back to the One who is worthy of so much greater gifts.
And so, Lord, I am asking you to show me what you want me to say "No" to, so that I can give my life's full "Yes" to you and you alone.
What in my life do you wish to take away that I may fully take hold of you?
How do I live my life on purpose, using every second of it in the exact way that you want me to?
And how can I completely sign myself out of the world's race to "the top" - wherever that is - and to sign myself up for the race to You?
I want you and you alone Lord. You know my heart's desire is to know you and to serve you well and to hear you say, "Well done good and faithful servant". But you also know, even better than I do, just how weak and frail I am. And that I simply can't handle it all. I can't say "Yes" to you and "Yes" to all other things at the same time.
Please teach me to say "No" to even the good things that the world is giving so that I may please you in saying "Yes" to only the things that you are giving.
It's funny that I think that I can say "Yes" to the Lord and still somehow manage to say "Yes" to everything else at the same time. But I'm remembering again that there's only enough room for one "Yes" in my life, and I must choose it wisely.
Oh, I can go around acting like my heart's "Yes" is all to the Lord and to His plans and all that, but really deep down I've gone and given my "Yes" to something else. Something that is far less worthy. And it's absolutely ludicrous of me to think that something like School or Work or even Family is worthy enough to take my "Yes" from God's hands and put it in theirs. And yet, I've gone and done it anyway.
I'm not mad at myself though. This life is a day by day struggle to keep the "Yes" of your heart placed in God alone, and I'm still learning how to do that. And so I will give grace to myself as I stumble and fall again and again on this journey, knowing that my Father is somehow always still pleased with me, even in my worst failures.
But now that I've finally noticed that my soul is withered and pale and drooping, I must give it time back out under the Sun again. Because what is Life for if not to pour it into knowing the only One worth seeking after? What is Time for if not to spend it lavishly on the One who holds every moment in his hands. And what are all the Desires of my heart given to me for, if not to give them as gifts right back to the One who is worthy of so much greater gifts.
And so, Lord, I am asking you to show me what you want me to say "No" to, so that I can give my life's full "Yes" to you and you alone.
What in my life do you wish to take away that I may fully take hold of you?
How do I live my life on purpose, using every second of it in the exact way that you want me to?
And how can I completely sign myself out of the world's race to "the top" - wherever that is - and to sign myself up for the race to You?
I want you and you alone Lord. You know my heart's desire is to know you and to serve you well and to hear you say, "Well done good and faithful servant". But you also know, even better than I do, just how weak and frail I am. And that I simply can't handle it all. I can't say "Yes" to you and "Yes" to all other things at the same time.
Please teach me to say "No" to even the good things that the world is giving so that I may please you in saying "Yes" to only the things that you are giving.
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