Waiting to be Delivered from Fear

"Be still and know that I am God" Ps. 46:10.

This verse is one that I have run to so many times - and today I realized why. 

In college group this morning we went around and introduced ourselves, said where we go to school, and also what our greatest fear was. I think originally it was meant to be kind of a joke, but lots of people took it seriously and said things they were really afraid of. I wanted to as well, but it really brings the mood down when you say that your biggest fear is being raped. 

So I started going do the list of things I was afraid of in my head in between other people's turns, hoping I'd come to one that wasn't super intense and disturbing before it came to my turn. Fear of being tortured for Jesus? Nope - too intense and I don't want to sound super holy. Fear of denying Jesus? Nope - also too spiritual. Fear of man? Nope - I didn't want to say that in front of a bunch of people and plus it would make me more nervous in front of all those people. On and on and on and on: fear of failure, fear of physical pain, fear of the future, fear of what other people thought of me, fear of something happening to my family, fear of God allowing something to happen to me that I couldn't handle. 

And so when it came to me I just said "Well, I'm pretty much afraid of everything you can be afraid of." People laughed because I guess they thought I was being over dramatic or something. But I wasn't - I really meant it. Then I said, "But I guess if I had to pick one, I'd go with fear of drowning." That was true. When I was 12 I got pulled out by a wave in Hawaii and I'll never forget how terrified I was. If my Dad hadn't have been there to pull me back up the shore, I'm pretty sure I would have drowned. I was nothing under those waves.

But that's not what I was thinking about as the next couple of people took their turns tell about their fears. I was realizing for the first time just how much fear I was filled with. I mean, I am bathed in it. I couldn't quite get my mind off it the whole lesson. I could not believe the amount of fear I found inside - practically in every single corner there was another one to find. 

I just got home from that and I'm trying to process it. 

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

There it is - I have not yet been made perfect in love. 

But I am choosing to cling to this: "I sought the Lord and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

I once read about a woman who was deathly afraid of many many things (just like me) and he husband told the story of how she got alone with the Lord for about a week and when she came out, she was never afraid since. She had read that verse and sought the Lord herself and he delivered her from her fears. All of them.

This he will do for me also. I will believe it!