Abba Father (Good Enough)

I think that everything we do is directly related to who we think God is.

Muslims see God as Allah - the all powerful god who might let them into paradise someday... or he might not. And so they live their life as a production of ritual-righteousness to him, hoping beyond hope that he will think they're good enough and will finally love them. They live a life of fear.

Atheists see God as irrelevant, or maybe just as someone they are angry at and trying to punish for something they think he did to them. And so they act out of this belief by searching for explanations for life that can somehow explain their world without the One who made it so obvious that He is here. They live a life of pretending.

I don't want to overgeneralize and I think I probably already have, so I'll just tell you about myself. I'm the only one I can really speak for anyway. 

Probably most of my life I saw God as someone I had to try to impress. He loved me...most of the time. But if I messed something up and sinned or made a mistake, He would be mad at me and ignore me or reject me. He loved me, but he wan't someone to mess around with. I have to have all my ducks in a row when I came to Him or I couldn't expect Him to show me any kind of affection or love.

So I would wake up every day, probably like many Muslims do, with fear in my heart that I would mess something up or that my performance wouldn't be what He was looking for that day. 

I still wake up like that some days. 

I've recently found myself about to start writing in my journal to God, and not knowing what to call him. Sounds like a weird problem, right? I realized I didn't know who God was to me personally. 

I'm at a crossroads where the God I thought He was and the God I'm starting to see He really is are beginning to part ways. And I'm left here trying to figure out which path is which.

I don't want to talk to my parent's God or my friend's God or my church's God. I want to talk to my God. But recently I haven't been sure who that is exactly. 

So last night I went on a search through the Bible to find out who God said He was (because that's how I want to think of Him as... who He says He is, not who I think He is or should be). 

And in the Old Testament, there are all these names of God that have to do with His power and greatness and authority and strength. He's Elohim, "The Strong One". He's Jehovah-sabaoth, "The Lord of Hosts". He's El Shaddai, "God Almighty". El Elyon, "The Most High God". El Olam, "The Everlasting God". 

It's basically like God was saying throughout the Old Testament, "I'm a boss". He was also the Good Shepherd, Jehovah Jireh "the Lord will provide", Yahweh Shalom "The Lord is Peace",Yahweh Shammah "the Lord is there". But mostly I think He was trying to get the world to see just how Awesomeness He really was (in my opinion). He was flexing His muscles.

Then you get to the New Testament and there is Jesus. He's the same God as the Old Testament God, but He's showing something deeper about Himself. It's like God peals back a layer of His powerful holiness so that we could see inside His heart. And instead of finding anger there or passive disinterest or impatience like we half expected to...

we see Love.

It's like He's saying, "You know how strong I am - now let me show you my tenderness". 

All of a sudden, the God who was inapproachable (because He is) and awe-inspiring and infinitely more powerful than we can imagine, stoops down and kisses us on the forehead. 

He says, "Now that you know just how much you don't deserve my love (because we don't) and how puny you are compared to me (because we are) and how crazy this really is (because it is!), let me love you". 

And suddenly, we are left scratching our heads wondering what on earth just happened...

I think that might have been why the disciples asked Jesus how to pray and who to pray to. Because they didn't quite know how to handle this revelation of God's love. After an encounter with a God so powerful, yet so humble and gentle, they were left asking, "Who exactly are you God? And how do you want me to talk to you? What does this mean for our relationship?" 

Because all along they'd gotten so used to seeing God as Yahweh! The God who IS. We'd gotten into the routine of thinking of Him as the God we had to perform for and have our act together with. The God who could literally open up the earth and swallow us on the spot if we stepped out of line (Numbers 16:32). 

But then Jesus comes along as God in the Flesh. And instead of raining down fire from heaven on us, He embraces us, weeps with us, heals us, laughs with us, celebrates with us, and dies for us. 

And we're left wondering who on earth this God really is. 

Finally we find the answer, when Jesus tells His disciples how they are allowed to relate to God now (Matthew 6:9).

"Our Father who is in heaven"

The very same God who we've seen part the ocean in half and kill thousands of people with one plague and destroy his enemies with a blink of His eye says, "Welcome to the family!"

"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Mark 10:15

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father'". Romans 8:15

Abba Father means, "Daddy". He's not just our "Father"...He's our "Daddy"....

"Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father'". Galatians 4:6

I am personally still wrestling with what this exactly means for me and my life. How do I live now that I don't have to try to impress God anymore? Now that I know He'll love me no matter what I do? 

What does it mean to have God as my Daddy?

I honestly don't quite know. 

But I'm going to find out.

Here's a little song I sang this morning, thinking about all this:

Good Enough