If Jesus Hired a Party Planner

"HAPPYY BIRRTHHDAAYYYY JESSSUUUUSSS!!!!"

"Thanks. It is pretty exciting isn't it?"

"It's that time of year again and I know that you're just dying to celebrate your big 2013! We here at Party Planners Inc. are absolutely honored to get to help make your big day a success! What a big year - you must be thrilled! This year, we're going to make it a party like you've never seen before! Imagine: lights, presents, loads of sweets and candy and food! And it's all for you!!" 

"Well thanks, but I'd rather just keep it simple...You know, just a few good friends and maybe a donkey or two."

"Oh Jesus, don't be so humble! Of course we're going to throw you a BIG party! Now just come sit down over here and we'll lay out all the details for you. Yep, just sit down right there. We've taken the liberty of making a short promotion video that shows some of our best ideas! You'll love it! Oh, shhhh, it's starting!

......

"Well that does look nice, but I think you forgot something. What happened to the stable? You guys know that's where I've always celebrated. And it's right near where the shepherds work so they can still stop by on their lunch break. I'd hate for them to miss it, and that fancy venue might be too far away for them to walk. And if they did make it, where would they put the sheep? I really think..."

"Oh don't worry Jesus, we decided to move your celebration to a more suitable location. You know that that stable was always so dirty and filled with poop and dirty animals. We couldn't have the guests getting their shoes dirty, you know. We invited some very important people this year! Just wait till you see the guest list!"

"Just so you don't forget the least of these. It wouldn't really be a party without them."

"Huh? You know you really don't make much sense sometime Jesus. But anyway, I have a few little things from your first birthday that we never really went over that I thought we might want to talk about so things go a little smoother this year. It's always good to learn from our mistakes you know!"

"But I loved that...."

"For instance, why did you have those angels waste their time performing to some poor shepherds? Were you hoping to get some sheep out of the deal? You really don't know a whole lot about business do you?  Don't worry, we have a financial planning course at our church that talks about how to make good, quality investments starting in January. We'll be sure to save you a seat...just make sure to wear something other than swaddling cloths...or maybe at least wash them or something..."

"And we were wondering why your Father didn't have the wise men go back and tell Herod about your birth. You do know that he wanted to come and worship you right? And it was pretty rude of the wise men not to invite him... That would have been some pretty good publicity to have a king come and bow down before you. Now that would have gotten some screen time!"

"He was trying to kill me."

"Oh please Jesus, don't be so dramatic. Herod is a sophisticated king. I'm sure he would never do such a thing. But never mind. There's lots more we could talk about with that first birthday and all, but I'm getting rather tired of thinking about it. And it's sapping my creativity...it just wasn't very well done you know... Come to think of it, you really didn't do a whole lot right when you planned your first birthday. Not that it's your fault or anything - I'm sure with some help you could've pulled it off. But don't worry, this year you can just sit back and leave everything to us!"

"I think my Dad made that first party just perfect. He's pretty good at stuff like - he always does everything just the way I like it! I just love Him! Oh, have I told you that my Dad is planning a big party for me up in heaven right now? He's been planning for quite some time and I have a feeling he's almost done. He just has to send out the last of the invitations. It's funny...even though people love celebrating my birthday down here, no one seems to want to come to that one even though it's going to be better than anything you've ever been to in your whole life. It's making me pretty sad when I think about it...But my Dad decided to invite people who will actually come so it'll still be a blast. By the way, would you like to come? Everyone is invited and I'd love to have you!"

"Oh that's so nice of your Dad to throw you a little party! I'm sure it will be lots of fun, even though it just couldn't be half as nice as the one we're planning for you. And you know I would love to come, but I'll be awfully busy planning your big party down here! I couldn't possibly stop working on that now could I? I'm sure you understand don't you..."

"Well, if you change your mind before it starts you're always welcome. But my Dad closes the doors after that so you won't be able to get in. Just so you know."

"Well see, that's what I'm talking about Jesus. You and your Dad just throw the strangest parties! You guys do know it's rude to close the doors on people who are just a little bit late. Most of the important people never come early! Haven't you heard of the term 'fashionably late'? Your father can't expect people to get there right on time now can he? I just don't understand you both Jesus. But don't worry, your big birthday party is safe in our hands! It's been just thrilling to plan this party for you Jesus! You'll be so impressed I'm sure. Well, we'll be in touch!"