And Now I See the Next Step
I'm about to head home tomorrow from a wonderful two weeks with my Auntie Jen and Uncle Ed in Washington state. And after that, I'm not really sure what will happen.
I'm not sure whether or not I will be working when I get back or not. I'm on sure what I will be doing in the Fall. And I sure don't know where I will be a year from now.
But the more into this thing I get, the more I realize that life just isn't predictable. Things happen every day that I don't expect to happen and yet for some reason, I still act like I know what's coming next most of the time.
I act like I know what I'll be doing a year from now, or even a month from now, but the truth is, I really have absolutely no idea. No clue. Not one tiny inkling of an idea.
Because the future is not mine to know, no matter how much I pretend like it is. (dear, self. this blog post is actually to you.)
I talked to my wonderful roommate on the phone an hour ago and she told me to remember that God is our Lamp to our feet. She knew I needed to remember this. That God does not compare Himself to the sun that lights up whatever landscape it is shining on, but to a little tiny Lamp that only gives enough light for the small patch of path ahead. But if you have a Lamp, you will likely never stumble on the path. It gives just enough light for you to make it safely home. Yeah, I did need to hear that.
So I guess it's ok if all I know is that I'm supposed to be on a plane home tomorrow. Because that is my next step, and until I take it, I don't need to know the one after that.
It's actually pretty interesting, too, that lamps can only light the dark parts of the path ahead of you if you are constantly moving into the darkness right in front of you. But once you get to the darkness, just one more step is lighted in front of your feet.
We have to keep moving towards the darkness. We have to trust that the Light will make the darkness flee once we are as close to the darkness as the Lamp wants us. Then the darkness will clear out and we will see our next step.
Exhilarating isn't it?
It's kind of like this life is an adventure or something...
And God is all we need to get home.
I'm not sure whether or not I will be working when I get back or not. I'm on sure what I will be doing in the Fall. And I sure don't know where I will be a year from now.
But the more into this thing I get, the more I realize that life just isn't predictable. Things happen every day that I don't expect to happen and yet for some reason, I still act like I know what's coming next most of the time.
I act like I know what I'll be doing a year from now, or even a month from now, but the truth is, I really have absolutely no idea. No clue. Not one tiny inkling of an idea.
Because the future is not mine to know, no matter how much I pretend like it is. (dear, self. this blog post is actually to you.)
I talked to my wonderful roommate on the phone an hour ago and she told me to remember that God is our Lamp to our feet. She knew I needed to remember this. That God does not compare Himself to the sun that lights up whatever landscape it is shining on, but to a little tiny Lamp that only gives enough light for the small patch of path ahead. But if you have a Lamp, you will likely never stumble on the path. It gives just enough light for you to make it safely home. Yeah, I did need to hear that.
So I guess it's ok if all I know is that I'm supposed to be on a plane home tomorrow. Because that is my next step, and until I take it, I don't need to know the one after that.
It's actually pretty interesting, too, that lamps can only light the dark parts of the path ahead of you if you are constantly moving into the darkness right in front of you. But once you get to the darkness, just one more step is lighted in front of your feet.
We have to keep moving towards the darkness. We have to trust that the Light will make the darkness flee once we are as close to the darkness as the Lamp wants us. Then the darkness will clear out and we will see our next step.
Exhilarating isn't it?
It's kind of like this life is an adventure or something...
And God is all we need to get home.
Bekah, I just read your blog for the first time. You amaze me with your mature insight, even in your "lamentation". You are so right...it's ok to NOT be ok. All the more why we need God to direct us through all of it. He alone can make us ok, righteous and able to face the good AND bad times. He Is Faithful! A perfect example of what we should be. I love you, Bekah. I will pray for you and your next step. I can't wait to see a year from now where God has taken you. Kristi N.
ReplyDeleteAwe thanks Mrs Nesom! I love you lots and I seriously so appreciate your encouragement and support! And thank you so much for praying! Im pretty sure I'm living on peoples prayers right now :)
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