Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Part 1)
About a week and a half ago my mom and I flew out to Knoxville TN to see Johnson University. We'd heard stunning reports of the school from lots of people and seeing as I'm still desperately in search of a college, we decided to go and check it out for ourselves.
The campus was beautiful, the professors were amazing, and it was a great few days for me to learn about the college and a little more about myself. And about God. And although I've decided I will not be attending Johnson University in the fall, I know that God still has amazing plans in store.
Ok, I'll try to get to the point. During my tour of the college, I was able to attend a class on the book of Romans. I have to say, it was amazing. The professor talked about so many things that I could hardly take it all in, but one thing he said stuck out to me like a flashing light.
He was talking about the concept of dying to self and being a living sacrifice to God every single day. He illustrated this point in a way that I'd never heard before and that surprised and shocked me at first. He said that, as Christians, we are living sacrifices to God (something I'd heard a thousand times before). But what he said next was totally new to me.
He said that, as living sacrifices to God, we are to wake up every single morning, crawl up onto the alter before God, lean out our necks, and say "Lord, cut my throat." This is exactly what Biblical Jews did with a sacrifice. They would tie the animal up and place it on the alter and then cut the animal's throat; killing it for the sins they had committed.
The professor went on to say that, after allowing our throats to be slit by God, we are to let the blood run down onto the alter all throughout the day. We are to lay there upon the alter and offer our bodies as a literal sacrifice to God until we get to the end of the day, and we look up to God and ask, "God, did I bleed well for you today?".
This image of being a living sacrifice to God was completely amazing to me. I mean, I'd heard pastors say over and over, "We are living sacrifices to God." and other things like that, but I'd never actually stopped to think about what that actually implied. That we are to willingly crawl up onto the alter daily, knowing full well that we will bleed and suffer, but that this is our role as Christians. To die to self daily in order that Christ may be made known. And that we are to allow God to literally sacrifice all that we are to Himself.
On the way to the state swim meet prelims last Friday, this new idea was bouncing around in my head. I was thinking about how that would look in our lives, if we really did wake up every morning and say, "God, let me bleed well for you today. Let me suffer and die to myself so much, that you are glorified by it. Let me be a sacrifice to you oh God!."
I was realizing that, as a sacrifice to God, I could look at pain (in all forms; physical, mental, etc.) in a completely different light. That not only was pain inevitable (I mean, dying to yourself cannot possibly be a walk in the park), but pain is a way in which we can glorify God. In no way, shape, or form do I think this means we should seek out as much pain for our lives as possible. That couldn't be God honoring either. But I realized that, by walking through pain with God at my side, I could honor Him in ways I never could have before. And that pain was not something to be feared, but expected.
Having said this, I realized that the pain I might feel during my races, which I had previously been terrified of, could be a sacrifice of praise to my God. That every burning muscle and lung could be my own personal cry of love and praise to the God that gave me my ability to praise Him and who loves me more than His very life.
And so, my attitude towards my races suddenly changed completely. I was not only ready for whatever God wanted to happen, but I was overjoyed for the adventure to come. This new attitude of mine was a stunning breath of fresh air to someone who had never gone a single swim meet without feeling slightly sick with fear. Fear of failure and fear that my own strength would never be enough to accomplish what I desired to accomplish. But when I began to focus on praising my Lord with my pain and efforts, my fear of failure left me. Because, no matter how I did, I was doing it all to praise my Lord. And He would never be disappointed with me, as long as I loved him with all my strength.
So I got up onto the blocks for all four of my races that day, still a bit nervous, but ready to praise God. And ready to bleed well for Him. And He blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. Although I've only been training about a third of what I had been while living in San Antonio, God allowed me to go the fastest 100 freestyle time of my entire life, and a time in my 200 freestyle that I hadn't been able to go in over three years. Not to mention, I was ranked 3rd in the 200 free and 5th in the 100 free going into finals. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! He took my song of pain and praise to Him and graciously blessed me with accomplishments that I never could have achieved on my own.
And although I my success was amazing to experience, knowing that I had bled well for God that day gave me a joy I'd never before experienced. I knew that that day, I had crawled up onto the alter before my God, and I had allowed Him so sacrifice all my desires, all my fears, and all my pain to Him. As a pleasing sacrifice in His sight.
I'll post about what I learned during finals another day. God taught me so much during both days of state but both lessons were so completely different that I'll use two different posts to tell about them. Plus this is already wayyy too long. :)
The campus was beautiful, the professors were amazing, and it was a great few days for me to learn about the college and a little more about myself. And about God. And although I've decided I will not be attending Johnson University in the fall, I know that God still has amazing plans in store.
Ok, I'll try to get to the point. During my tour of the college, I was able to attend a class on the book of Romans. I have to say, it was amazing. The professor talked about so many things that I could hardly take it all in, but one thing he said stuck out to me like a flashing light.
He was talking about the concept of dying to self and being a living sacrifice to God every single day. He illustrated this point in a way that I'd never heard before and that surprised and shocked me at first. He said that, as Christians, we are living sacrifices to God (something I'd heard a thousand times before). But what he said next was totally new to me.
He said that, as living sacrifices to God, we are to wake up every single morning, crawl up onto the alter before God, lean out our necks, and say "Lord, cut my throat." This is exactly what Biblical Jews did with a sacrifice. They would tie the animal up and place it on the alter and then cut the animal's throat; killing it for the sins they had committed.
The professor went on to say that, after allowing our throats to be slit by God, we are to let the blood run down onto the alter all throughout the day. We are to lay there upon the alter and offer our bodies as a literal sacrifice to God until we get to the end of the day, and we look up to God and ask, "God, did I bleed well for you today?".
This image of being a living sacrifice to God was completely amazing to me. I mean, I'd heard pastors say over and over, "We are living sacrifices to God." and other things like that, but I'd never actually stopped to think about what that actually implied. That we are to willingly crawl up onto the alter daily, knowing full well that we will bleed and suffer, but that this is our role as Christians. To die to self daily in order that Christ may be made known. And that we are to allow God to literally sacrifice all that we are to Himself.
On the way to the state swim meet prelims last Friday, this new idea was bouncing around in my head. I was thinking about how that would look in our lives, if we really did wake up every morning and say, "God, let me bleed well for you today. Let me suffer and die to myself so much, that you are glorified by it. Let me be a sacrifice to you oh God!."
I was realizing that, as a sacrifice to God, I could look at pain (in all forms; physical, mental, etc.) in a completely different light. That not only was pain inevitable (I mean, dying to yourself cannot possibly be a walk in the park), but pain is a way in which we can glorify God. In no way, shape, or form do I think this means we should seek out as much pain for our lives as possible. That couldn't be God honoring either. But I realized that, by walking through pain with God at my side, I could honor Him in ways I never could have before. And that pain was not something to be feared, but expected.
Having said this, I realized that the pain I might feel during my races, which I had previously been terrified of, could be a sacrifice of praise to my God. That every burning muscle and lung could be my own personal cry of love and praise to the God that gave me my ability to praise Him and who loves me more than His very life.
And so, my attitude towards my races suddenly changed completely. I was not only ready for whatever God wanted to happen, but I was overjoyed for the adventure to come. This new attitude of mine was a stunning breath of fresh air to someone who had never gone a single swim meet without feeling slightly sick with fear. Fear of failure and fear that my own strength would never be enough to accomplish what I desired to accomplish. But when I began to focus on praising my Lord with my pain and efforts, my fear of failure left me. Because, no matter how I did, I was doing it all to praise my Lord. And He would never be disappointed with me, as long as I loved him with all my strength.
So I got up onto the blocks for all four of my races that day, still a bit nervous, but ready to praise God. And ready to bleed well for Him. And He blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. Although I've only been training about a third of what I had been while living in San Antonio, God allowed me to go the fastest 100 freestyle time of my entire life, and a time in my 200 freestyle that I hadn't been able to go in over three years. Not to mention, I was ranked 3rd in the 200 free and 5th in the 100 free going into finals. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! He took my song of pain and praise to Him and graciously blessed me with accomplishments that I never could have achieved on my own.
And although I my success was amazing to experience, knowing that I had bled well for God that day gave me a joy I'd never before experienced. I knew that that day, I had crawled up onto the alter before my God, and I had allowed Him so sacrifice all my desires, all my fears, and all my pain to Him. As a pleasing sacrifice in His sight.
I'll post about what I learned during finals another day. God taught me so much during both days of state but both lessons were so completely different that I'll use two different posts to tell about them. Plus this is already wayyy too long. :)
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